Hard to believe we’re back here again, especially when we can’t go home yet:(. Boey was just starting to eat and drink, feel better on Tuesday, then we got the call about her counts, which were basically 0. I looked over at my little warrior, knowing that she was starting to feel better and regain her spirits only to be knocked down again. It’s becoming more difficult each time, she’s to the point where she doesn’t want to be touched in the hospital but knows she has to let them do it. We are always reassuring her that we are going to be strong and fight for her, we don’t want her to think she has to be strong all the time, it’s important that she knows we are carrying her through this every step of the way with God as our strength, provider, and healer. Boey and I began our journey back to the Portland ER(to late for clinic)to be admitted. We had awesome prayer time in the car, so that was a blessing. Boey was raising her hand in praise with the worship music, she’s such an inspiration. Even though she was down cause we had to go back, her little arm went up to praise her King and she was thanking God for her healing. As soon as we started pushing Boey in her wheelchair towards the doors of the ER, she started throwing up everywhere, it was SO heartbreaking. I finally realized that the entire time during her last chemo why she was throwing up right before her chemo even though she had antinaseau meds. She is internalizing her fear, and anxiety. I asked her if she threw up cause she was scared, and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and shook her head yes. I hugged her and held her close, just covering her with love and prayers. ThankGod our wonderful friends Riss and Josh met us at the ER, I couldn’t have done it without them. I was pretty shaken up after realizing just what a toll this is taking on our baby girl…thankyou guys so much for making Boey laugh even through the rough times,you guys are the best WE LOVE YOU!!
After finally arriving at Doernbecher’s, Boey was adamant about not getting her port accessed, the heparin and saline makes her pretty sick. The nurse attempted a periphereal line in her arm…even with Boey’s arm numb from the cream, she was still screaming cause it hurt so bad. They had to stop, and get the IV team….it was like 1am at this point, we were all so exhausted. More numbing cream on Boey’s hand, an hour later the IV team came in and it was successful. She also needed her neupogen shot on top of all this, it was a really looooong and rough night:(.
That was early Wednesday morning…today’s Thursday and her counts are still very low. She just started spiking a temp yesterday and we’re still at 102.3 today with round the clock antibiotics. Her blood cultures are still negative, that’s very reassuring. The plan so far is to keep her here until her counts come up and the fevers gone. Pray for an increase in her counts and supernatural strength for Boey to keep her strong and eating. She’s back to not wanting to eat, and that could cause an entirely new set of problems if she keeps refusing to eat. She’s very depressed, and it’s horrible sitting here in this room knowing just how badly she wants to go home and be vibrant spunky full of life Boey….this is a total nightmare:( I miss my goofy radiant girl, I know she needs this time to rest, her bone marrow has been wiped out, and she needs this healing time, I just wish it was at home where she’d be surrounded by what she loves, her family and friends.
Thankyou for the Anniversary wishes:) 10 years sure flew by quick, but an awesome 10 years it’s been! The best Anniversary gift will come tonight when both me and hubby can snuggle together on the bed without Boey smack in the middle of us!! She’s slept in between us for 18 months..ever since this nightmare began..we’ve encouraged her in so many ways to sleep in her own bed but she’s determined to be with us..we’re her security blanket, she’s been through so much. We dont’ even care about the fact that this is THE most uncomfortable bedding in the world, we get to be together and just be…we’re just grateful that we are together:). HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HUN!! I LOVE YOU!!
Thankyou for the phone calls, the emails, and I was really touched by the note I got from Jeanette from Texas to call her if I need anything. I hope you all realize how much it helps me get through the day. I can’t wait till this is all over. I spoke with the doctor at length about the next chemo and her next scans. I didn’t realize this chemo will probably be the last one for Boey, her kidneys can’t handle anymore. I have been in diligent ferverent prayer for the manifestation of her healing to take place soon, we believe this next scans will be our miracle. Pray for her manifestation and believe with us.