Archive for April, 2008

Byers Boys Shave Heads for St Baldricks Day fundraiser in honor of BOEY!

Monday, April 21st, 2008

With each passing day, the pain becomes more unbearable. We miss our extraordinary precious daughter so much, there are simply no adequate words to express our heartwrenching unexpected tragic loss. We survive the days by living to honor God and Boey’s amazing legacy and everything she stands for. There are no earthly words that can ever adequately express how deeply I love my baby girl.

Cancer messed with the WRONG family when it messed with our Boey. We are living every day to make sure this nasty evil hideous disease is completely annihilated! I’m so sick of seeing our beautiful children suffer and die from this demented sick and cruel demonic beast. We will continue until the CCA bill is signed into law and a cure is found!!! Boey showed us all how to fight, love and live like there’s no tomorrow, to never give up and to always BELIEVE.

  St. Baldrick’s Foundation is an organization that was formed in 2000. Their mission is to raise awareness and funds to cure kids cancer by supporting cancer research and fellowships. Last year St. Baldrick’s raised almost $13,000,000 for childhood cancer research. They are one of the few foundations that focus strictly on childhood cancer, and this year they have already raised over $8,000,000.

http://www.stbaldricks.org/#

- Boey’s warrior mommy

Sidenote from ROB: Rachel really wanted to shave her head but I reminded her of all the times Boey cried when she wanted to shave her head bald. I feel Boey would’ve wanted her mommy to keep her hair and so do I. She really was disappointed but I was glad that she listened to me.

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Blessed by Cancer?

Saturday, April 5th, 2008


          My life has been blessed. I experienced tremendous blessing but it has not come from what you might think. The first thought one might have could be the support from church and community or that my family was selected to be on Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Yes these were most definitely massive blessings but I am going to write about a different blessing. It is the blessing that I received in a strange way. It was the blessing I received by battling cancer with my daughter.
         

           My family lived with the diagnosis of malignant cancer for one year. This was followed by a worse diagnosis of metastatic cancer resistant to Chemotherapy for an additional year.  These pronouncements change your life in drastic ways. I was blessed in a very strange sort of way. In writing this blog I looked up a synonym for blessed and it said “set apart.”  That could not be more true!! Our lives were completely set apart and again, in an unusual way it was blessed.

          To spend so much time with my Boey, to know her like no other and to be the Support and the Love that she needed. Her Mom and I spoke many times how it was such an honor to be there for her. To wipe the vomit, to brush her hair back, to run to the store for the craved doughnut, to find the right crayon, to get the nurse for more pain meds, to pray with and for, to speak words of encouragement ,pride and love and LOVE LOVE LOVE our little girl. Not everyone is blessed with taking the time to do these things.

          Those were the difficult times that bonded us so much. To intuitively know what to do to comfort and to extend that to our battling warrior was beautiful and fulfilling. There were also the common times that I took such pleasure in. This shadow of death brings clarifying light that brings energy to spend time on the important things. When Boey went back to school I made it a point to walk her home. That was awesome. That memory is beautiful. I would show up to the school and she would smile and smirk almost uncontrollably. She sometimes would try to be like some of her friends and act embarrassed that her parent was there, but eventually she would stop and she would run to me. We would hug. I would tell her how proud of her I was. I knew the difficult road she had to take in her battle to get to go to school. We would walk home together. As the ritual would go I would always ask to take her backpack  full of books and strong, independent BOEY would always decline.  I then would take her small hand in mine and we would hold hands all the way through the grass field, past the chain-link fence, on to the street and all the way home. Our hands would remain clasped together as we talked of her day; her friends, schoolwork, recess. It felt so good for her to be living her beautiful life. She would lovingly look up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and I would melt. I can’t adequately describe how good that felt. We kept our hands palm to palm only letting go so she could run to her mama and tell her how her day went. I did that frequently, even coming home from work early because it was so fulfilling. A WALK HOME FROM SCHOOL!!! That was SO fulfilling. I am certain that if we never had been in cancer world the cares of this world would have prevented those appointments from happening. Our lives were truly set apart and blessed.
          

           Rachel and I just had a conversation tonight. At first we lamented that after she was in remission the first time we did not do enough; we were thinking about things like enjoying Disneyworld or other places we wanted to visit and share. I thought for a moment and then we comforted each other with our realization that we did not have to; the simple things in life like a walk home, hand- in- hand from school were the destination. They were the fulfillment that the destinations try to capture.
         

          What is life anyways?  One definition of life could be the time you spend with the people that you love. With that definition, my family has lived a very full life. We have cherished more completely, loved deeper, laughed more uncontrollably, nurtured more wholly, admired more fully, had compassion more completely than I could ever hope for. I only wish that I could have many more years. I believe that one day in the future  I will have a several thousand more years of that and more  with NO Cancer and no goodbyes…but I’m going to have to wait for that reunion. I know I am blessed though because of the times I have spent.

           I know that I have no regrets for the time and the devotion with which I lived with my daughter. The time that I spent in the hospital and coming home to walk with my daughter is gone but the memory and the assurance that I was a good Daddy is something that I will have forever and ever. The change is also something that is very real and permanent in my heart. It is very strange that I, in a way, can attribute the learning and experiencing of that Love to our battle with Cancer; a very powerful enemy. Jesus said, “in this world you will have trouble. But be of good chear for I have overcome the world.”  Death has no power over my family’s life. I know where my BOEY is and I will join her in a beautiful reunion one day. On that day I will kiss her and thank her for enduring because she helped me to see and learn what truly being blessed is all about.

LOVE those whom you love.
ROB