Archive for June, 2008

PRAYER WARRIORS RISE UP AND UNITE FOR THE UNANGST FAMILY

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

LET’S SHOW THIS FAMILY THE POWER OF GOD’S LOVE!!! LET’S GET BETH TO HOUSTON!! GOD AND BOEY ARE GUIDING US EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!! LOVE YOU GUYS!! CALLING ALL PRAYER WARRIORS!!

beautiful bethy

 THIS IS THE UPDATE FROM BETH’S CARINGBRIDGE SITE:

 We are asking everyone to intercede in prayer on behalf of the Unangst family. Bethy is an amazing beautiful radiant precious child of God who needs our help. She is fighting for her life and hanging onto Jesus for strength and comfort. Please pray for God’s divine healing, love, strength, abundant peace, love, mercy, grace, and glory to fall on this beautiful family. They are so overwhelmed at this time. Imagine caring for six kids, working full time, organizing the care that Beth needs(dealing with doctors to get the referrals, MRI’s and port surgery), and watching your precious child slowly slip away. We lay Beth at the feet of Jesus and release her to him. God is in control. We also know that God is showing himself strong during this time by opening the doors for Beth’s care in Houston. The outpouring of testimonies that have come in from people who have been treated at this clinic is simply miraculous. There is a little girl here in Roseburg Oregon who had the same exact tumor as Bethy and close to her condition. She went to Houston and is now a thriving healthy beautiful little girl PRAISE GOD!! There is hope for Bethy but this family can’t do this alone. They feel led by the Lord to seek this treatment because the doors are bursting open for Bethy to go to Houston. People have opened up their homes in Texas and offered for the family to stay there(thankyou to the beautiful soul who sent that email), the outpouring of love and support is absolutely amazing. Please pray without ceasing for this family.

Pray that God will continue to open doors and send the right people to help this family. Pray for God’s divine protection, love, peace and strength to invade the hearts of each family member. They are all so overwhelmed. This is where we come in guys. Please do whatever you can to help save Bethy’s life. Her life is priceless, but the cost of the treatment is very expensive. Beth’s dad was able to go in and open the Beth Unangst Medical Benefit Fund at Washington Mututal until the Sparrow Club gets Beth’s account up and running.

 IF YOU’D LIKE TO MAIL A CHECK PLEASE SEND IT TO CORVALLIS FINANCIAL WASHINGTON MUTUAL 2055 NW CIRCLE BLVD CORVALLIS OR 97330 BRANCH NUMBER 249FCOR. PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU INDICATE ON THE CHECK THAT IT’S FOR THE ELIZABETH UNANGST MEDICAL BENEFIT FUND. IF YOU’D LIKE TO DONATE ONLINE PLEASE GO TO THE WASHINGTON MUTUAL WEBSITE AT http://www. wamu. com/personal/default. aspa. GO TO BILL PAY AND ENTER IN THE ROUTING NUMBER 325070760. THE ACCOUNT NUMBER IS 9344575307.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, CONCERNS OR NEED ANY ADDITIONAL INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT THE MANAGER AT WASHINGTON MUTUAL. HER NAME IS LISA CONNER AND SHE CAN BE REACHED AT 541- 754-6112.

PLEASE give what you can to bless this family and get Beth to Houston. A sincere thankyou from the Unangst Family to all the Bethy angels out there giving Beth her chance to live a long beautiful life with her family. We will try to keep you posted daily on where things are at with Beth’s care. Right now the parents are trying to coordinate with the doctors the MRI and port surgery needed before they can take Beth to Houston. PLEASE pray that everything will fall into place and run smoothly. Please pray that their will be NO RESISTANCE from the doctors to take on Beth’s case here locally. Pray that God will soften these doctors hearts and they can hear the hearts of the parents who want nothing but to save their daughter’s life. Pray that God’s hand will continue to guide them in all they do. God Bless all of you.

BETH’S WEBSITE http://www. caringbridge. org/visit/bethunangst

Amanda Rhea- You will never be forgotten- Take care of our little girl til we meet.

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

My condolences to the Rhea family and my prayers are with you!

At Amanda Rheas request of all who knew her my family is all wearing orange today for today is her memorial service. It was easy for me to find orange being an OSU Beaver fan but it is hard to see another life taken by cancer and the pain that is causes those left behind.

Pray for her family and her friends as they go through the darkest pain anyone could feal.

Boey talked to Amanda on the phone before the extreme makeover premier and they were excited to meet each other in person one day. I know they have met each other now and from what I have heard they are probably having a fashion show about now…no doubtably wearing Orange….I know my baby girl has a BEAVS shirt on!!!!
Have fun girls and keep a row open for us. Enjoy your rewards- We are so proud of you here on Earth. We will do all that we can to make sure you are NEVER forgotten and that your legacy lives on.

Please send your condolescenses, love, prayers and support to her beautiful and brave family at her caring bridge site. Her link is below. God Bless

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/amandajones

P.I.P. Party in Peace-til we get there and then the real partying will happen because right now we are hurting.

A SPECIAL FATHERS DAY MESSAGE FROM HEAVEN

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

“HI DADDY, THIS IS YOUR BOEY. I ASKED GOD TO GIVE YOU THE BEST FATHER’S DAY EVER CAUSE I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW. GOD COULD NOT HAVE GIVEN ME A MORE SPECIAL DADDY THAN YOU. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND I TREASURE ALL MY MEMORIES OF OUR BUTTERFLY KISSES. REMEMBER THIS SPECIAL SONG DADDY? YOU USE TO SING IT TO ME WHEN I WAS A BABY AND IT MADE YOU CRY. JESUS IS TAKING SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME DADDY, I’VE HAD SO MANY FASHION SHOWS UP HERE, IT’S SOO FUN!! I KEEP ASKING JESUS WHEN YOUR GONNA GET HERE, HE JUST LOOKS AT ME AND SMILES THE MOST AMAZING SMILE AND SAYS “SOON YOU WILL BE TOGETHER MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS, BUT FIRST MOMMY DADDY AND YOUR BROTHERS HAVE GOD’S WORK TO FINISH ON EARTH THEN YOU WILL SEE THEM”. I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MISS ME DADDY. I KNOW HOW MUCH YOUR HURTING CAUSE YOU LOVE ME WITH PERFECTED AGAPE HEAVENLY LOVE AND THAT’S WHY I COULD BE SO STRONG GOING THROUGH CANCER. IT NEVER WON BECAUSE PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT ALL FEAR AND YOU AND MOMMY GAVE ME PERFECT LOVE DADDY. REMEMBER THAT I WENT TO HEAVEN WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE DADDY, THAT’S BECAUSE I HAD THE ULTIMATE VICTORY AND NASTY EVIL CANCER NEVER BROKE MY SPIRIT OR FAITH IN MY KING. I DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU GUYS SO SOON, BUT JESUS PROMISED ME HE WOULD TAKE EXTRA GOOD CARE OF YOU AND SEND SPECIAL PEOPLE TO SURROUND YOU WITH HIS LOVE. PLEASE LISTEN TO OUR SPECIAL SONG AND REMEMBER THAT SOON YOU AND I WILL DANCE TOGETHER AND SHARE ENDLESS BUTTERFLY KISSES IN HEAVEN. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DADDY.

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY SPECIAL MUSCLE MAN DADDY - I LOVE YOU SO MUCH - YOUR BOEY

BOEY AND HER SPECIAL MUSCLE MAN DADDYBOEY AND HER SPECIAL MUSCLE MAN DADDY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh8o8LZQbC4

BUTTERFLY KISSES VIDEO BY BOB CARLISLE

TO ALL OUR GRIEVING FRIENDS AND PARENTS PLEASE READ

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

 Boey the love of my life

LOSING SOMEONE YOU LOVE OFTEN MAKES YOU FEEL VERY ALONE BUT YOU’RE NOT ALONE, THERE IS HELP.
Grief is a grueling, debilatating, and often paralyzing emotional process. Please know how much God loves you and is right there carrying you in your pain. Our chldren’s pediatrician called us the day after Boey went to heaven and warned us out of love that she knew parents who after 5 years would not come out of there house after losing their child. She said losing a child is the most traumatic life altering event a human being could ever experience. She was trying to warn us that our intense agony would be normal, to not be scared of our feelings. It’s un natural to bury your child, it’s not the way God intended it to be. Rob and I feel like our hearts have been ripped out and buried with Boey in her little pink coffin:( Our doctor offered all her prayers, love and support. Just her reaching out meant everything to us. She has been sent by God to care for our children, she is a blessing and we love her very much.
Please be gentle with yourself. Remember that God truly is the only one that can carry you through this. It’s an intense inner healing work that only our Father in Heaven can do. He lost his one and only son for three days and understands our intense agony.
He also sends the right people to be there for you during your time of grieving and that is so important in your healing process. NEVER take on the burden of family and friends not understanding or having exscuses for not being there for you. There is plenty of help out there for them to understand how to help you during this time. If they really care and love you they will do whatever it takes to be there for you in the way you need them to be.

Often people honestly don’t know what to say or do sometimes. There is an overwhelming amount of help out there and if they really love you they will make sure to utilize the resources out there so they know how to be there for you during your time of intense grieving.
You need to take care of yourself and your family and focus on getting through the day, not wasting your energy on defending yourself to people who judge or don’t have the capacity to understand what you are going through. Your true friends will do whatever it takes to be there for you never expecting for you to understand why they didn’t or won’t reach out. We are human beings, created to love God and others. God created us to be lifted up in love and prayers by others during our time of grieving. Find safety in the cleft of God’s rock. He wil never forsake you or leave you. He knows what you need and will always provide for you. He loves you with the most awesome perfected love, he is always there for you.

A sincere heartfelt thank you and boey hugs to all of you who have been there for us during our time of grieving. We are so blessed by the outpouring of your love, prayers and support. We cherish each and every one of you. We wouldn’t be able to do this without you. We are eternally grateful.

God Bless all of you            The Byers

Hebrews 13:5-6 “Let your conduct be without covetousness, and be content with such things that you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you, nor forsake you,’ so that we may boldly say, ‘The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me.

‘” (emphasis mine)

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. Therefore will I boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I Corinthians 12:9-10

This is a very helpful article below.  This link is a support group for grieving parents.
The website is http://www. angelfire. com/mt2/grieving/index. html

Things that help

Get a wonderful support group around you. This is the one and most important time that you will need ONLY people who will support you. They don’t need to talk, just listen mostly. They may be needed in the middle of the night. If there is people around you that supports you, then you will be able to heal better.

TALK ! TALK ! TALK ! I have always said, the day I don’t mention Josh is the day everyone better worry about me. There are days it is hard, but, to mention is name and tell stories about him does me better than anything. To not talk, is holding grief in. This is not healthy.

Find someone who will listen, even if it is only on the computer, then so be it. I have found some of the most supportive people here on this little white box, I may not know what they look like, but these people know my pain, and we can share that.

Cry. I know some of you will say Oh yeah, I do that already, but you know I have come across people who do not cry. I have children who do not like to see me cry, but I will still cry some in front of them. They need to know that crying is normal, and it is a crucial part of the loss. If I feel a big boo-hooing cry coming on, then I do not do this in front of them. I wait until I can be alone.

Keeping a journal was a life safer for me in the beginning. I know that I was so pent up with all of the feelings and emotions, I didn’t have a clue how to get rid of this, so one night I sat down and wrote it down. I wrote for 2 hrs and cried and wrote. I felt so much better, I finally felt that all that crap I was building up was lifted. So this became my outlet. Every time I felt I was too consumed with all of it (which in the beginning was about everyday) I wrote. Some of the days were terrible, and if someone had of read those they were have had concern, but after each time I always felt better. Plus I could go back and read my progress in healing. I could go back and read some of the fears that I had in the beginning that maybe 3 months down the road I didn’t have anymore. This was a great healing tool for me.

I saw a Psycologist in the beginning. I saw her for a year and this was a big help for me. I could tell this woman anything, and she would not judge me, or make me feel like I was O.K. when I knew I wasn’t. She would tell me it was o.k. to feel the way I was feeling. The one thing about this kind of help though, is that you may not find this connection which the first one, I didn’t. I walked out of the 1st Dr. I saw. He and I did not click and I knew it instantly. So you may have to see a few.

We joined a support group also. This group is actually set up for Grieving Children, but it was a huge help for the adults too. I know that this isn’t available in every state, but look to see if there is something like this for your surviving children. Each group was set up specifically for each reason of dying, so our children was just with other children whom had lost a parent or sibling by suicide. We just finished our 2nd yr session, and I want to return again next year.

Suggestion for a holiday time

This was given to us at Christmas by the support group I was speaking of earlier.

Holiday Candle Ritual

This ritual is designed to remember a loved one at holiday times, or at any time of the year. It may be personalized or changed to suit your family.

To begin, place 5 candles in a circle (perhaps around a wreath, or a birthday cake,etc) and as you light each candle read aloud these statements:

As we light these five candles in honor of you, we light one for our grief, one for our courage, one for our memories, and one for our love, and one for our hope.

1. This candle represents our grief. The pain of losing you is intense. It reminds us of the depth of our feelings for you.

2. This candle represents our courage to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other, to change our lives.

3. This candle represents our memories. The times we laughed, the times we cried, the times we were angry with each other, the funny things you did, and the caring and joy you gave us.

4. This candle represents our love. Each day we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for you. We thank you for the gift your living brought to each of us.

5. This candle is the light of hope. It reminds us that the love and memories of you are ours forever. May the glow of this flame be our source of hope now and forever.

These are things that I have hated to hear !

How many children do you have?..

How do you go on?..

Why?..

At least you have other children..

You are young, you can have more..

He must have been ill..

It was just a baby..

Well at least you don’t have to go thru the teenage years..

When are you going to get over this…

Don’t Tell Me

Please don’t tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don’t tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don’t tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don’t tell me someday I’ll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don’t tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don’t tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can’t stop,
Don’t tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don’t tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I’ll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don’t hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.

* Please don’t wait for me to call you.

It is hard to reach

out to others when I feel so vulnerable.

If you want to

‘be there’ for me then take the initiative to call to visit me.

* Please don’t say you know how I feel–let me tell you.

Let

me talk about the one who has died.

I may need to re-tell

the story many times.

* Please realize that I may be more sensitive than usual,

especially regarding the subject of death..It is unrealistic to expect that I will

be ‘better’ in a few weeks or months.

It may take years

to deal with all of the feelings, questions, memories, etc.

Even if I do cry, that’s okay.

Tears are healing and healthy. I can handle them if you can.

* Realize that holidays and birthdays and the anniversary

of the childs death are difficult.

It helps when you let me know you are

thinking of my family and me at these times.

* Please understand that the anger, depression, frustration,

questions and thoughts I am dealing with are normal

reaction to the loss I have experienced.

* It helps when you mention our daughter’s name.

It makes her

seem closer and reminds us that others think of her

and miss her also.

* It helps when you let me know you care about me with a phone

call, a letter, or a hug.

http://www. pfwbs. org/parents. html

Judi Walker
Copyright 98

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! GOD LOVES YOU!! HE IS RIGHT THERE WAITING FOR YOU WITH OPEN ARMS:).

“Every man dies…not every man really lives.”

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

             I was led the other day to watch one of my favorite movies, Braveheart, starring Mel Gibson. The title to this blog is from that movie. It is a great guy movie with lots of battle scenes and macho guy-type stuff. For those of you that don’t know, it is the partly historical, partly mythological, story of William Wallace, a Scottish common man who fights for his country’s freedom from English rule around the end of the 13th century.

            I wanted to watch it just to get my mind off of things, but I found myself tearing up and recognizing a few parallels with my familiy’s life. It painted the picture of bravery in the face of an Evil adversary. I don’t want to spoil the movie for those who have not seen it so stop reading now if you would rather watch it.

In the first part of the movie William Wallace wants to live a quiet life and raise a family with the wife that he loves. He puts up with the oppressive evil king until the king’s men try to take liberty with his wife. Wallace fights back so the EVIL KING kills his TRUE LOVE to try to draw Wallace out. This activated the Warrior in Wallace and he turned his fury on the English. His Bravery and leadership inspired the hearts of his downtrodden countrymen who follow his lead following a speech given to the defeated outpost of Englishmen to whom Wallace powerfully proclaims, “Scotland’s sons and daughters are yours no more.”

            The story was inspiring and pulled on my heart in a deep way. When the love of his life was killed by the king my heart broke and my thoughts were of BOEY being taken by the evil Cancer. When I saw the response of Wallace it inspired me. I want to respond with this same warrior attitude. This attitude was the same response that I saw my beautiful daughter display. At one speech before the battle Wallace proclaims, ‘They may take our lives but they will never take our FREEDOM!!!!”  This is true of my daughter. Even when battling cancer she was still full of life, light and love for her family and other children battling this disease. Sickness did take her life but it never touched a bit of her spirit; It never took her freedom!

            My world view is GOD-centered. I see this world as preparation for Heaven. I see that we have an enemy, an EVIL KING if you will. He hates us and wants to destroy and hurt us any way he can, its how he gets back at GOD. He took my baby from me and I am sensing a rumbling in my spirit, even more often lately to take this battle back to him. I know that the enemy of my soul made a fatal miscalculation, just as the Evil King did in the movie. He thought that he could get my family to leave GOD and blame him, effectively destroying us and effectively neutralizing and taking us out of the battle as he has to many families brokenhearted over their own losses. I am here to proclaim that He made a fatal error. As Boey used to say, “He messed with the wrong warrior.”  While I know that my family is in no way near to full battle strength I can feel it every day a growing desire in my soul to fight against this enemy and that day is coming!

            Jesus said he came to destroy the works of the enemy and I am increasing in my desire to do that each day. This last month has been very difficult. Extremely. I have had to deal with my anger toward GOD in addition the struggles that we all deal with- financial in particular. I want to include this to let you know it is not all about being strong- we are really quite broken right now. This is the reason I have not felt inspired to write any new blogs. I don’t want to fake it.  But at this moment I feel something stirring in my soul. God is starting to really move at our church in some amazing ways and I can feel him deeply. It does not always change the struggles I am having but my hunger is growing stronger and stronger. I know that GOD gives me a promise; they that hunger and thirst for righteousness will be filled; my hunger has never been stronger.

            Of course it would be easier for me if I was William Wallace. He had it a bit easier because he could just pull out his sword and kill the enemy! Oh if I had the opportunity to do that to Cancer or the Devil!!   But I guarantee this: Cancer will fall by my hand when I take up my sword of the Spirit!  The weapons that God has given me will route the enemy. The hunger we have to love families going through illness, the foundation we want to start, the dreams that we have are just growing stronger. Our dependence upon God is greater than ever before so I believe we are in a great position.  I will still see the fulfillment of the divine destiny that has been placed on my family. I will, along with William Wallace, Proclaim FREEDOM for the captives!!

            At one point in the movie Wallace friend says that he knows that part of why Wallace fights so hard is because he thinks that his Wife sees it. Wallace proclaims. “I know she does”    I also know that BOEY, who loved her warrior friends is watching in that great cloud of witnesses that the Bible talks about and I know she is smiling. And I just want to say; BOEY you ain’t seen nothing yet!!!!

ROB