Archive for April, 2015

Birthday Presents or Presence ?

Friday, April 10th, 2015

My Birthday was on Sunday. I loved it. I like having a day that is mine and I loved the gifts and I love the fun things that my wife and kids spoiled me with.

Since my daughter died it has sometimes taken an introspective turn. It is well known that anniversaries of death and birthdays of the deceased are moments for pause that bring up buried emotions for those that remain. My birthday has historically been one of those emotional days.

Being without one of my children makes holidays and celebrations occasions for the emotions that I have been stuffing to come out and drip down my face. It is ok. It is normal. I’ve come to accept these emotions as part of the deal. I miss Boey deeply. Of course I would long for her to be with me to celebrate life’s special moments. I hurts that she is not here.

But sometimes I wonder if she is closer than I know.

Hebrews 12 talks about the cloud of witnesses that watch us from Heaven while we are here on earth in the struggle that we still have. This gives me reason to believe that they are not sequestered in some puffy cloud somewhere but in actuality are able to see and even enjoy parts of what goes on here on earth.

An amazing experience happened to me on one of my birthdays that also give me pause to think.

My wife made me a delicious dinner and we were all sitting around the table in my huge living room. We were having fun and I mentioned something about Boey and wishing she was there and moments later something amazing happened.

We had 23 foot tall ceilings with skylights in that room. A balloon that I had given to my wife on Valentine’s Day had come loose and had been stuck up there since February. This was April 5 and right after speaking of Boey, as if on cue, that balloon had seeped just enough of its helium that it slowly began to descend. It took probably a 30 seconds or a minute to slowly drop down 19 feet and hover directly down near the table revealing its message;

“I love you”

With the timing and the message, It was almost startling!

Do I think that Boey herself was there in bodily form?

No.

But the fact that that the balloon was up there for 50 days that’s 1200 other hours that it could have come down but it waited until we were all sitting together eating to bring its message of love in a slow and seemingly deliberate manner. That’s statistically improbable at the least.

But I don’t spend that much time rationally tearing it apart. It was just now as I wrote this that I did the math for how many hours in 50 days. I simply take it as a small sign. It was nothing to base my theology or my life on but rather another beautiful thing given to me on my birthday.

It was a message of Love from my Daughter.

I love the gifts I get on my birthday.